I.
My Little League team sucked,
made the Bad News Bears look good.
We fired our coach who was a drunk,
hired a poet to replace him,
He knew nothing about the game.
But he wrote limericks
about each position:
There once was a pitcher with no luck
still known for his excellent pluck.
He threw such a curve
which never did swerve
and then he just passed on the buck.
There once was a shortstop named Slykes
who also was known for his gripes.
He swung and missed
and all the fans hissed
when he said he needed four strikes.
We never won any games,
but our pitcher and shortstop
joined the debating team and did well.
II.
There once was a bloke named Trump
whose antics caused many to flump.
He thought all were his slaves,
sent many to their graves,
wanting to dump his rump.
There once was a country
attacked by a terrible disease.
Everyone said we needed to stay home,
isolate safely until the virus ran its course.
We had elected a businessman.
His medical experience was going to the doctor.
But he said he knew about business.
He told everyone to get out there.
Get off the bench and onto the field.
Play Ball!
A lot of people thought he was crazy
and stayed home.
But a lot of people put on their uniforms
and began to throw the ball around again
and died.
Originally published in Poetry and Covid